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Page 14


  “Bye.”

  She nodded but she couldn’t say it. Not this time. Something was different. Zoe waited for him to step back, and for once, she pulled away slowly. When they stopped at the light leading out of the resort, she looked over at Sam. She felt her study.

  “How much does it hurt?”

  The tears she had been holding back spilled over and she choked. “Like I’m dying.”

  Zoe reached over and took her hand. “You need to stop?”

  “No. Let’s just get home. I need to get home.”

  And maybe there she could think that her world hadn’t fallen apart. Again.

  Chapter Five

  Six weeks later

  Sam closed her eyes and breathed through her mouth. Today had been a lesson in keeping her food down. Even the crackers and water were not sitting well. But it grew worse without food or water—it was a sick cycle, and she just wanted to die. She knew for a fact one of her students had given her the flu. Probably on purpose, the little buttheads.

  She sat on their lanai and stared out over the hills, wondering what Deke was doing right then. The last time she had heard from him was the day he arrived back on the mainland. He’d called to tell her that he’d made it back safely. It was always like this with the two of them. The times they were together, they couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. But once they were apart, it was as if they didn't care about each other.

  Which was a crock because she had thought about him every day since she had seen him last.

  She took a sip of water, wondering if she should call him. It would be the right thing to do since he had been the last person to call, but now she felt vulnerable. Did she want him to know just how much she needed him?

  She sniffed back the tears she couldn’t seem to control the last few weeks.

  "Hey, woman. I just got home," Zoe yelled out. She came out and set a bag from their favorite sushi restaurant on the table. "I know you haven't been doing great, so I thought I would treat you to some sushi."

  Just the thought had her stomach revolting. "I'm not sure that is such a good idea."

  Zoe looked at her. "What? You never turn down sushi."

  Bile rose in her throat, and Sam took a sip of water hoping that would keep her from throwing up. "I think I have the stomach flu."

  Zoe took a step back. "No. I can't get sick. I hate sickness."

  "You're a nurse, and besides you know that the incubation period is pretty long."

  "I will kill you. You know what kind of patient I am, and you and Fee refuse to help me."

  “That’s because you call us names.”

  Zoe pulled out the food. "Well, that means more for me."

  She opened the container, and the scent of seafood and seaweed hit Sam. She bolted. She barely made it to the bathroom before losing what little she had in her stomach.

  Several minutes later, she returned, and Zoe was no longer looking so jovial. "I promise not to breathe on you."

  Zoe shook her head. She didn’t even smile. "I have something personal to ask you."

  "Don't you always?"

  When Zoe didn't laugh, Sam started to get worried.

  "What?"

  "Have you skipped your period since that night with Deke?"

  “I…” She started counting back the days. It hit her then. "Oh, shit."

  "Exactly."

  Sam ran to the calendar they had hanging in the kitchen and counted days. "No. No this can't be. We used a condom."

  "Every time?"

  She nodded. "Yes."

  "There’s always a chance that it didn't work. There is a twelve percent fail rate."

  She stared at Zoe. “That’s not right. Is that right?”

  Her friend nodded.

  "Doesn’t matter. It's the stomach flu. I know it. It has to be going around school."

  Zoe cocked her head. "How many kids have missed school because of it?"

  None.

  Zoe read her face. "That's what I thought. And I work at a hospital. Not a lot of stomach flu talked about there."

  "I didn't say anything."

  "You didn't have to. Let's go get a test and then you can see if you are pregnant or not."

  "Don't say it."

  Even thinking it had her stomach rolling over again.

  Zoe must have been very worried about her, because when she spoke, her voice was especially gentle. Fee and Sam called it her “nurse voice.” “We’ll call Fiona and have her pick one up on her way home.”

  She hesitated but then nodded.

  An hour later, she stared down at the stick.

  Dammit.

  “What’s the answer?” Zoe asked through the door.

  “You’re so insensitive, I swear,” Fiona said, disgust filling her voice. “You need to give her time.”

  “What? You want to know, too.”

  “Yes, but I’m not so insensitive that I would badger her through the door.”

  Tears filled her eyes. Sam hadn’t planned on kids anytime soon, especially not with a man who drove her crazy. And she didn’t know if she was ready for it right now, but she had no choice in her mind.

  She opened the door.

  “Oh, I don’t know if those are happy or sad tears,” Zoe said.

  They spilled down her cheeks. “Happy, sad, scared as shit.”

  “Oh, so you are pregnant,” Fiona said.

  “What are you going to do?” Zoe asked.

  She sighed and scrubbed her face. “Not sure. First, I have to tell Deke. Then we’ll decide from there.”

  They both nodded. In that split second, the reality came crashing down on her. She was pregnant and had so many things to think about, she couldn’t deal with it. Without warning, the tears burning the back of her eyes burst forth. The sob caught her off guard.

  “I think you need to calm down,” Fiona said.

  She opened her mouth to argue, but Zoe nodded. “It’s the middle of the night, anyway. You’re worn out. That’s no way to tell him, if you’re going to keep it.”

  She’d already made the decision. She could afford a baby, and she had decent health care. And even if they weren’t a couple anymore, Deke would support her and the baby. He would be a good daddy.

  Just thinking that made her go gooey. He was an idiot sometimes. What man wasn’t? But he was a good man, one she admired and one she knew would be a good father. He’d had a good example with his father. Deke would give everything he could to a child of his.

  “Well, I can see you made your decision,” Zoe said.

  Sam shook her head. “Keeping it was never in doubt. I’ve wanted to be a mother, and I’m not sure I’ll ever get married again. I just don’t know if I’m at a place in my life to do this right now.”

  “Okay.” She expected Zoe the nurse to rear her head, but instead she stepped forward and pulled her into a hug, then handed her off to Fiona, who did the same thing. Sam didn’t know what she’d expected, but the acceptance of her friends brought tears to her eyes.

  “Oh, I didn’t want to make you sad,” Fiona said.

  “Not sad. Happy.”

  “Why not take a hot bath, relax?”

  She nodded. “That sounds good.”

  They filed out of her room, and she stood by the door and looked at them. They were an odd group, all from different kinds of backgrounds, and they definitely all had varying personalities. But she knew without a doubt whatever she decided or whatever happened, they would be there for her.

  “Thanks.”

  She shut the door, walked over to her dresser and opened her jewelry box. She pulled out the gold chain she wore most days under her shirt. Her engagement and wedding ring dangled from it. The diamond wasn’t very big, but it had been so special to her. Running off to the justice of the peace probably wasn’t the dream wedding she had wanted as a girl, but it had felt like the right thing to do.

  She sat on her bed and held the rings next to her heart. Deke was bigger than life, a man who eng
aged her on so many levels. He respected her, which she didn’t always get from other people. She was so tiny most people took her for granted. Not Deke. He taught her how to protect herself with self-defense. Her father didn’t think girls should fight or shoot guns. Deke had taught her both.

  She sighed. But they could never stand to be around each other. And when he was gone…she hurt. Sam had thought she would be an excellent military wife, but she had sucked at it. She couldn’t pretend it was fun and games. It wasn’t romantic spending holidays alone or wondering if he would make it back alive for your anniversary.

  She decided to take that bath and let her brain settle. The last few days of barely eating had left her tired and cranky. She set her chain and rings back in the box and went about the process of getting her bath ready. After slipping below the bubbles, she thought of everything that needed to be done. She needed to see her doctor first and foremost. And, lord, she was going to have to tell her brother, who would freak.

  With a sigh, she slipped down until the bubbles hit her chin and set her hands on her abdomen as she let the news sink in.

  She was having Deke’s baby.

  Wrong time, wrong place…but something felt…right.

  She shook her head at her silliness. She couldn’t know if it were right. Still, she wanted to at least enjoy the idea for a few minutes before her worries took hold. Tomorrow she would worry about everything else, including Deke.

  Chapter Six

  Two weeks later

  Deke felt his phone vibrate on his belt and pulled it out of its case. When he saw Sam’s number, he hit ignore.

  "You're going to have to talk to her," Mal said, shaking his head.

  He glanced at his friends. Both Mal and Kade had made the trip out to BWI to send him off. He hadn’t expected it, but he should have. "I will when I get there."

  "Is she meeting you at the airport?" Kade asked.

  "She doesn't know I'm coming."

  There was a beat of silence as they both stared at Deke.

  “What do you mean?” Mal finally asked.

  He jerked a shoulder. “I figured it was best that I just showed up.”

  There was another moment of silence then both men started laughing. They were so loud they gained the attention of some people passing by. Deke could feel his face heating. Damn, he hadn’t blushed in he didn’t know how long.

  "What?" he asked, his irritation getting worse by the moment.

  "Chief,” Mal said, “I can't believe you’re so much older than we are and you still don't know how to handle women. You can't just move over there and not tell her."

  It was a good plan. He knew it mainly because he knew Samantha. If she knew, she would have fought him.

  "If I called her, she would have figured out a way to talk me out of it."

  And she would have. Samantha had a good head on her shoulders, and she would think through the issue and find holes in his plan. He didn’t want that. He wanted to just show up and deal with the ramifications. It would all work out in the end.

  "So, you think that you need to do this? That not telling her is going to help when you just pop in?" Mal asked.

  Now that Mal said it like that, Deke was having second thoughts. Shit. She wasn’t going to be happy. Not one bit. By his way of thinking, she would just have to deal with it. The news he had been given just two weeks prior had convinced him he had made the right choice.

  "Well, too late now," Kade said. "You'll call us?"

  "Sure, mommy. Right after you kiss my ass."

  When his friend didn’t smile, he nodded. He knew that since that one bad mission, the three of them had become the touchstones in each other’s lives. Only someone who had been through what they had would understand. Every few days they chatted, even if only by text.

  "Make sure you guys get back over there," he said.

  "Sure. We both have family there now," Kade said with a grin.

  “Plus, I figure they might need someone to identify the body,” Mal said.

  “Fuck you,” Deke said with no heat.

  He was hesitating and he knew why. Getting on that plane meant that he was on his mission, and he wasn't sure he could do it. He had made the plans on the way back from Hawaii. There was no need to go to teach in Coronado. Not without Sam there. With her in Hawaii, he had taken what he had called the job from hell. He would have done it without the little tidbit of info he’d found out just two weeks earlier. So, he’d made his plans. Now he was on his way to his new life.

  And his woman.

  "Well, if she kicks you out, call my brother or sister. They'll put you up. Or that crazy Aiona family will take you in,” Mal said.

  He gave them both a hug, and then walked into the airport.

  An hour later, he was sitting in his seat when his phone vibrated again. She hadn't started calling until two weeks ago, and he had been worried that she had found out about his assignment—or the other information. But now he knew she didn't know. There was no way. Her brother wouldn’t have been able to find out, and he knew that Mitchell was her only other connection to the military these days. Still, he turned the phone off. It was too late to have second thoughts.

  His new life and the woman he had always loved were in Hawaii. It was all he needed to think about.

  He closed his eyes and counted the minutes until the plane took off.

  * * * *

  Sam was happy she had kept down half a bowl of broth finally. The last few weeks had been horrible. The only thing that had saved her this week was that the kids had been on spring break. Zoe had ordered her to rest, and for once, Sam had listened. It might have been that or the meds the doctor had given her, but Sam was finally feeling a bit better. Keeping a whole bowl of broth down was amazing. Her phone rang. Checking the screen, she saw it was Zoe.

  “Hey.”

  “Aw, you sound horrible. I was hoping you could meet us out.”

  She pulled the phone out from her ear and looked at it. Being that it wasn’t a video call, Zoe couldn’t see her nasty look, so she set the phone against her ear.

  “Really?”

  “I hate that you’ve spent your entire spring break stuck at the condo.”

  She snorted. “I think my days of dancing are over at least for the next eight months.”

  There was a pause, and she could hear the loud music and the people talking in the background. This new Zoe was a little disconcerting. She’d been in full nurse mode for the last two weeks. There were times she really freaked Sam out.

  “Still haven’t heard from him?”

  She sighed. She should have known that Zoe would pick up on that. “Nope. I called three times today. Nothing. Last time went to voice mail. He wasn’t supposed to go on a mission, but you never know.”

  And it might be weeks before he got back. That had panic tickling the back of her throat, but she took a drink of water to keep from choking on it.

  “Okay, well, call if you need anything. We’ll both keep checking on you.”

  She smiled. Her friends had turned into perfect mother hens. It might be bothering her that Zoe was being so pleasant, but it had been nice to have two people babying her.

  “I will. I’m so tired. I think I might go to bed after I finish this broth.”

  “Did you take your meds and vitamins?”

  “I will after I eat this.”

  She paused again, and Sam knew she was worried about her. She hated to ruin their night, especially when nothing could be done. She just had to ride out the storm.

  “Okay, well, again, call if you need anything.”

  She hung up and was starting to finish her broth when the doorbell rang. Glancing at the clock and seeing that it was almost eight, she wondered if her brother had decided to stop by. He’d always been protective of her, but he was getting worse by the day. He was using the excuse of her condition to check on her daily. Where she appreciated her friends’ attention, her brother was starting to piss her off. She padded barefoo
t to the door and rose to her tiptoes to check out her visitor. When she looked through the peephole, her stomach started to turn.

  Deke.

  “I hear you in there, Samantha. Open up.”

  She breathed through her mouth, trying to keep the little bit of broth she had eaten down.

  “If you don’t answer, I’ll bust down the door.”

  And wasn’t that just like him? He avoids her then shows up in Hawaii and tries to bully her.

  “Funny coming from a man who didn’t answer his phone for two weeks.”

  He sighed. “Open up, Sam. I’ve been flying all day long.”

  His voice sounded weary, tired. She knew if he had flown from the west coast, he had been at it probably more than twelve hours.

  She opened the door. He had his suitcase there beside him. He was dressed in low-riding Wranglers, a pair of running shoes, and a Navy shirt. He looked like he had just gotten out of bed. His hair was a mess and there was a little scruff on his chin.

  God, he looked good.

  “You going to let me in?”

  She nodded and stepped back. She shut the door and leaned back against it.

  “Are your roommates here?”

  “No. They’re out tonight.”

  He kept looking at her as if she were the only thing in the world. But he always did that, and it never failed to make her feel melty inside.

  “I thought you would have called before you came over for a vacation.”

  “Not here for a vacation, but I guess I should have. I forgot you have to get up in the morning. You look exhausted.”

  He sounded so damned concerned that it had her stomach flip-flopping. Apparently it was too much for her to take after eating. She swallowed hard.

  “No school. Kids are out on spring break here. They always have it the last week of March.”

  He nodded and opened his mouth.

  “I need a second.”

  He held up his hands, and the determined look on his face warned her that he wasn’t going to let things go right now. “Sam, I know you’re mad at me, but I knew if I let you call me, you would talk me out of moving here.”

  Her alarm rose. “Moving here?”

 

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