A Little Harmless Addiction: Harmless, Book 5 Read online

  Jocelyn enjoyed the hum of Honolulu. She didn’t think she could ever live in the city. She was a solitary soul, but she did like to get out and experience people. She loved watching their interactions, watching the activities. It made her feel alive. And right now, everything that had happened in the last year seemed so small, so inconsequential, that she sighed with happiness. She knew she had a long time before she would be completely healed. Truthfully, she knew she would never be the same person. The sexual harassment had taken a lot out of her. She had started hating work, hating her body, and dammit, he made her ashamed her of sexuality. Like she had brought it on herself.

  Greg had known her insecurities. There were plenty, and being her mentor and friend, he had learned them all. And he had used them against her, chopping away at her confidence.

  The last two months, the new job, the attack…she shoved the thoughts to the back of her mind. She couldn’t deal with it now, wouldn’t until she knew she could. Unmedicated. She stopped at a street corner waiting for the light to change. She’d gone three weeks without meds, and it had been tough, but she was just enjoying the act of experiencing life again. The medication they’d had her on had made her numb.

  She walked across the street and to the tour area.

  Brightly colored boats bobbed in the water as she walked down the plank. Jocelyn loved the sound of waves slapping against the wood as she meandered toward the slip where Kai’s boat was. She had never really been a boat person. Not one who would spend all day out on a boat. Growing up in New Orleans, boats were a way of life. She had enough friends who had family out in the bayou or family who worked in the Gulf. It had just never been something that called to her. Still, the idea of just enjoying the crystal blue waters and beautiful scenery appealed to her. Especially today. She was feeling a little restless in Cynthia’s little house, and if she hadn’t gotten out she would have been baking up a storm. Being without anything to do, she would end up eating the majority of them. Her ass could not take that.

  She walked past one last boat and found Kai’s. It was white with blue trim, and it looked empty at first glance. Then Kai walked to the front of the boat and she lost most rational thought. He was shirtless. God almighty, he was gorgeous. He wasn’t steroid big. No, this was the kind of muscle that came from good, honest, physical work.

  He bent over to grab some rope and she sighed. Even at this distance, she could see the ripple of muscle beneath the flesh. Damn. He was golden brown that came from his Hawaiian background and his time spent out in the sun. Tattoos decorated his upper arms, and as he turned she saw one that stretched across his back. All of the designs had a Hawaiian feel to them. She could imagine tracing the design with her fingertip, enjoying the feel of his smooth skin beneath hers. Someone leaned over the railing from up above, one of his crew she presumed, and said something to Kai. He threw his head back and laughed. She could barely hear it, but it sent a shaft of need rushing through her blood. She stopped where she was and drew in a deep breath. It had been very long since she’d been interested, and now, she wanted. It was that same sexual rush she’d lost almost a year before, a year before when Greg had ruined it for her.

  The same crewmember said something else and Kai turned around and spotted her. The smile that curved his lips as she approached sank into her skin. Damn, could another man be as pretty as Kai Aiona? Deeply bronzed skin, green eyes and a body of an Adonis. He was going to be very hard to ignore.

  She ordered herself to start moving forward and reminded herself that she wasn’t ready for a man. Especially not one like Kai Aiona.

  Kai watched Jocelyn walk down the plank. A few days rest had done the woman wonders. She needed a little more meat on those fabulous bones, he thought. She was definitely still attractive, but Kai liked curves on a woman.

  “Morning, Jocelyn,” he said, trying to ignore the way his heart was beating against his chest. He hadn’t been this taken with a woman since he was sixteen.

  “Good morning. I hope I’m not too early.”

  He shook his head and held his hand out to her. “No. I usually make other people wait, but since you’re sort of family, you can come on for a quick tour.”

  The moment she placed her hand in his, he felt her shiver. He knew just how she felt. Each time he saw her, the attraction seemed to grow. That was usually a good thing, but this time it wasn’t. He didn’t need a woman with a damaged heart, not when he was trying to fix his. As he helped her down the steps, the heat of her drew him closer. Her rich, delicious scent surrounded him. The aroma of the docks was overpowering, but he didn’t seem to notice the smell of salt and fish. Instead, he could only seem to sense vanilla and sugar.

  His mouth dried up. Damn, he wanted one big bite.

  He pulled in a deep breath as he turned and found his crew already in front of them, waiting to be introduced. He sighed.

  “Jocelyn, this is Tommy,” he said, motioning to his captain. Tommy was about ten years older than Kai and looked at least three years younger. The blond haired, blue-eyed Texan still got carded when they went out. But that never seemed to hurt him, especially with their older customers. A lot of cougars had been booking trips together for sight-seeing tours, and they seemed to have a thing for Tommy.

  He motioned to Vince, the oldest and probably meanest of the group. Twenty years in the merchant marines had toughened the old man, and he pretended to hate most women, especially when they were on the boat. But even he was smiling.

  “This is Vince, and behind him—” he pointed to the tall, broad-shouldered Jamaican, “—is Paul.”

  “Hi,” Jocelyn said.

  “Oh, Lord, you didn’t tell us we would have someone from New Orleans on the boat,” Tommy said.

  Her eyes widened. “You could tell that just form me saying hi?”

  He nodded. “I grew up in Beaufort and spent a lot of time in New Orleans.”

  She laughed. “We’ll have to get together and see if we know any of the same people. You know what they say.”

  Tommy’s smile widened. “Everyone knows everyone else in New Orleans.”

  He stepped forward but came to an abrupt halt when Kai growled. His captain’s eyes widened then he laughed.

  Kai glanced at Jocelyn who was looking at him as if he had grown a second head. And why not? He was acting as if she were his territory. She didn’t even know how out of character it was for him to behave that way. He ignored her and turned his attention back to his crew.

  “Don’t you men have something to do?”

  Vince rolled his eyes, Paul winked at Jocelyn, making her blush, and Tommy smiled at Kai as they went back to work.

  “Sorry about that.”

  She laughed again, the sound making his head spin. “No, I like them. Very…diverse.”

  “They are that. Come on, I’ll show you around a little bit.”

  He gave her a tour, trying to concentrate on showing her all the little interesting things tourists liked to see. In the back of his mind though, were his worries about his reaction. He was attracted, yes. What man in his right mind wouldn’t be? She was gloriously put together. Long limbs, smooth skin and a luscious body once she got her weight back. From what May said, Jocelyn had been much more rounded before her situation a few months ago. So, he knew with Chris and May around, the woman would definitely get back to her regular curves. “You said you do most of these tours?”

  He nodded as he looked over the bow. “I’m the best at handling customers, although Tommy can be good. He gets a little more…involved with the single female passengers, though.”

  “Yeah I can see that.”

  “Would you like a drink of something? Soda, water?”

  “I’ll take a water.”

  He went to retrieve it, his mind back on his reaction to her. Being attracted to her was normal, even expected, but Kai never felt territorial. Not even when he was dating someone. He had never been a man who wanted to fight over a woman. Well, until he had started dating Keis
ha again, then found out she didn’t want to be that serious. Of course, he had played it off. She had come to him as a friend and lover. Why would she have expected more from him? He had a reputation and that was all Keisha had wanted. And he had fooled himself in thinking he could change her mind by giving her just what he had always given women. When she up and left the island to follow her scumbag ex, he’d realized that he wasn’t cut out for it. He wouldn’t make the mistake again. Mutual breakups were more his style.

  “I say he’s dating her.”

  Tommy’s voice flitted over common area. Shit, he should have known they would be speculating about Jocelyn. She was just his type, and he did have a thing for African-American women. They all knew because they had seen him single out women who had more than one thing in common with Jocelyn. That sweet smile with a hint of wickedness would normally have him pushing for a serious date.

  He saw Vince shake his head and open his mouth and Kai knew he had to stop the talk about it or it could get out of hand. Plus, Jocelyn might not like being discussed.

  “I’d say you were wrong.”

  They all turned around and faced Kai, not one guilty look in the crowd. He was used to this, but he didn’t like anyone talking about Jocelyn. Another oddity for him.

  “She’s Chris’s sister, my sister’s boss. She just moved here and knows no one.”

  Tommy’s grin widened. “So you’re saying she’s fair game.”

  He tossed a look at him and went to the cooler. “I say you might be out of a job if you push to date her.”

  The crew went quiet when he looked around. “What?”

  “Nothing,” Tommy said. “Nothing at all.”

  Irritated, he shoved them out of his mind as he climbed the stairs back up the deck. He saw her sitting there, the crisp white linen shirt, red capris and sandals had him gulping. It wasn’t particularly sexy, but with her, it didn’t seem to matter. He had seen her toes earlier and they were painted. Red. God, how was he supposed to ignore a woman with red toenails who had every physical requirement he desired in a woman? He would have to be a saint, and that was something he never aspired to.

  She noticed him and smiled as he approached. He felt that little hitch in his heart again. Damn.

  “Thanks. I’m used to heat, but it has been awhile since I’ve lived near the water. The salt in the air can sometimes zap your moisture away.”

  He nodded and gulped down half his bottle. She sipped at hers as she watched him with those emerald mermaid eyes. Kai knew it was wrong, knew that it would cause all kinds of complications, but he wanted to see her, needed to. Not just today. Tomorrow, or the next day. Or both. Damn, this compulsion was going to drive him insane and he hadn’t even spent that much time with her. He gave in.

  He took one last swallow of water. “Okay, I have to ask again.”

  “Yes?”

  He opened his mouth, but the sound of the other travelers reached him and he grimaced. His timing with women had been off for months, but it seemed to be worse around Jocelyn. She was watching him patiently waiting for his question.

  “It’ll have to wait. Want to meet the other passengers?”

  She eyed him for a minute then nodded. “Sure.”

  Jocelyn watched Kai talking to a small girl about four years old. He was good with people. In the last two hours, she’d found herself amazed at his patience. She had been in the public-services industry for years, but rarely had this much contact with the public. And for good reason. She couldn’t take the constant attention they wanted. Or the whining, or well, them.

  She chuckled to herself as she remembered her run in with a bridezilla two years ago. The girl had wanted to make changes the morning of her wedding to both the groom’s cake and the official wedding cake. She’d had the nerve to threaten Jocelyn’s job. It must have taken her a long time to get that icing out of her hair after Jocelyn had dropped it on the woman’s head.

  She settled back against the bench and looked out over the water. She had spent her childhood in New Orleans, and a ton of her time near the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean. Neither could compare to the crisp turquoise of the Pacific. It was smooth as glass today. She could see the coastline as they chugged along and she drew in a deep breath. The air was so clean, so vibrant. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the sun on her face.

  “Enjoying yourself?”

  She slowly opened her eyes and found Kai standing beside her. Without invitation, he slid into the seat to the right of her.

  “Yeah, I am. I’ve always liked the water. It’s one of the things I missed most when I lived in Atlanta.”

  He nodded. “I don’t think I could live landlocked.”

  He looked out over the boat, and she could see him taking note of what was going on. He might play the easygoing guy, but she recognized a businessman when she saw him. He might have picked something that he loved, but in his heart he understood his responsibilities. And dammit, that made him even more enticing.

  “It’s different though.”

  He turned his attention back to her face and she wished she could see what he was thinking. His sunglasses made it hard.

  “Different?”

  “Yeah. I was just thinking of the Gulf and how it is so different than this.”

  “Hmm. I’ll have to take your word for it. I’ve never been there.”

  She cocked her head to the side. “Not many trips to the mainland?”

  He shook his head. “I’ve been to the west coast, we have family there, and to Japan and China. But I get a little buggy when I’m on the mainland.”

  “I can’t see you reacting that way anywhere. You seem so Laid-back.”

  He shrugged. “Too many rules. Too many people.”

  She laughed and he stilled.

  “What?” she asked when he continued to stare at her.

  He swallowed convulsively. “I like your laugh.”

  There was a hint of heat threaded in the words that hadn’t been there before. She ordered herself not to pay attention, to not let it get to her. It was hard because she knew without a doubt he would be good in bed. It was easy to see in the way he moved, all power and grace. Plus, he was patient, so a woman had to know that he would definitely do everything in his power to make it worth her time.

  She swallowed.

  “Why did you laugh?” he asked.

  “Oh, because someone living on Oahu saying there are too many people is kind of funny. This place is crowded.”

  He leaned back and looked out over the water, then back at her. “There are a lot of places you can find solitude. LA, hard to find. And too much pollution.” He shook his head in disgust.

  “That’s one of the things I hated about Atlanta. The pollution was starting to get to me. I have to say I do like the Windward side of the island better. It seems to be at a slower pace.”

  He nodded. “I like it. There are other places…if you would like a tour guide?”

  She studied him, still irritated that she couldn’t see his eyes. Without seeing them she didn’t know what his expression was. And she knew from the tone it wasn’t just a friendly invite. Kai saw it as a date. He didn’t ever attempt to couch it any other way and she liked him even better for it. A devious man would pretend to want to be only friends and try to talk her into bed. Kai wouldn’t do that. He didn’t need to.

  God help her, she wanted to try. She wanted to go out with a man who wanted to spend time with her and wasn’t psychoanalyzing her every move. It would be fun to just be Jocelyn and enjoy her day out. Like today.

  “I’d like that.”

  He seemed to relax at her agreement. Had he been worried she would say no? Why? From the looks of the other female passengers, he could easily find a hook-up tonight. Or any night for that matter. Just the fact he was worried she would say no interested her.

  “Tell you what, before you leave let me have your phone number. I’ll give you a call and take you on a tour. Nothing like seeing the islan
d with a Kama’aina.”

  She waited for the instinctive freak out. In the last few months, any time a man made any kind of overture she had freaked out. An unknown man holding the door open for her would have her backing away from him. But with Kai, it wasn’t there. The only feeling she had was the rush of excitement over going on a date. Just for that alone she wanted to kiss him. Beyond that, she wanted to get to know him better.

  “Sure.”

  “Gotta get back to work.”

  She watched him walk back to the helm, chatting with the tourists as he went. She slipped her gaze down his back to his fine ass and amazing legs. She also noticed a few of the other women noticing, and she tried to squash the jealousy that surged. She had no business being jealous. Flirting was fine, almost mandatory to her recovery. But she knew she wasn’t ready for anything more than that.

  Even if her body was throbbing and begging her to be bad. She wasn’t ready, only a month from being the zombie her drugs had made her. No. A nice uncomplicated day with Kai exploring the island would be fun, and that was all.

  He turned to start talking to the crowd. But in one instant, he looked at her, and even without seeing his eyes she knew he had zeroed in on her. He gave her a slow, sexy smile she felt all the way to the tips of her toes.

  For the first time in a long time, she realized she looked forward to time alone with a very attractive man.

  She leaned back again and closed her eyes. This had been a banner day.

  Chapter Four

  Three days later, Jocelyn stopped cold when she saw the crowd that was gathered in the diner. She knew when her brother had invited her, but maybe he hadn’t expected Kai Aiona there. From the muttered curse behind her, she figured not. She tossed him a look over her shoulder and saw the frown he was trying to hide.

  She tried to ignore it and gave the table a smile. Dee and Micah were there, along with May and Evan. There were two chairs on one side, and an empty one beside Kai.

  “I didn’t know if we would see y’all tonight,” Evan said as they approached.